ITS IMPORTANT TO BE OPEN AND HONEST

This week the ADOFitness trainers will be addressing three insecurities that they’ve dealt with – whether it be physical, mental or experiences we have faced.

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I think its important to be open and honest about our personal insecurities. In an industry that is filled with images of “perfection” its important that we as trainers and REAL PEOPLE show the imperfections that make us human just like everyone else. Although most would never know, at a young age I was bullied pretty bad. I hated middle school with a passion. I wasn’t the popular girl and I didn’t come from a family with money. I wore clothes from goodwill, wore my hair up in a bun practically everyday, and wore the same neutral colors in order to not stand out. I was embarrassed to have friends over because I didn’t have a nice home or nice things. In 8th grade, I was told by a boy that I was so ugly I should kill myself. I had a lot of insecurities from this time in my life that stayed with me for YEARS. I still hate to wear my hair up because I was made fun of so much at such a young age. Its crazy how childhood experiences can shape us into adulthood. Along with this, I was an athlete from a very young age. I played every sport I possibly could and was a tomboy. Being so athletic at such a young age and developing muscle tissue so quickly in my legs led me to develop stretch marks on my hips and legs. I absolutely HATED that I had stretch marks in middle school and high school. I wasn’t overweight by any means but refused to get into a bikini because I never wanted anyone to see them or wonder why I had them. I thought I was ugly and my body was ugly. Even with my stage photos from past competitions in the last few years, I have felt embarrassed to see the stretch marks on my hips and have hated some of the professional photos due to my eyes going there first. Along with this, I remember growing up and hating my freckles. I even asked my mom to buy me some super expensive spot remover cream for my face because I didn’t want freckles any longer and thought I could get rid of them. It probably didn’t help that my oldest brother used to tell me it looked like “Someone threw shit at me through a screen door”. Skipping to more recent years of my life I have been through situations that have created insecurities through pure embarrassment. To be publicly humiliated and cheated on by me ex fiancé was one period of my life I will never forget. Not to mention having to hide physical abuse and a scar on my face from the situation. I felt embarrassed for a long time about the circumstance and felt weak for having it happen to me. And although I do know it wasn’t my fault, its still something that has been hard to talk about or accept that it actually happened to me. The point is I was a VERY insecure little girl and had many experiences along the way that created anxieties into adulthood. Meeting my husband and having him love me for all of me has helped dramatically. But from time to time I do still feel insecure about many of these things even at 30 years old. We all have a story and we all have insecurities. Today you may see a “fitness model”, someone who seems to have a “perfect life” or someone who is “so confident” on the social media screen, but behind the photos is still a girl who was broken many times but refused to let her past define her or her beauty.

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